This post is going to be a hodge podge of randomness. I tried to think of a coherent topic to write about, but I killed A LOT of brain cells this weekend and just wasn’t able to come up with one thing I could get myself to focus on. Sorry boutcha.

The Cardinals won the World Series. I watched from Paddy O’s next door to Busch with every other Cards fan in St. Louis it felt like. Then we wandered into the stadium to see the festivities after the game was over. I had so much fun it was stupid. In normal life I would have HATED. LIFE. in the crowded ass bar with 2574985743985 other people, not able to get to the bathroom, waiting for 20 minutes in line to get beers. Not on World Series night. It was like Christmas and I was just the happiest girl in the world. It made me wonder how the f St. Louis is the most dangerous city in the United States when everyone can come together around something like that. Weird.

Then I got up at 4:30 am on Saturday to go to work. It SUCKED. That’s all.

But Saturday night I went out for Halloween with my pals. We had an EXCELLENT group and had such a freaking blast. Halloween is so fabulous. What a good excuse for everyone to dress up like hot messes and drink far too much booze. Love.

This weekend I learned that partying gets hard when you get old. Back in the day drinking from Thursday to Sunday was basically a weekly occurence. Now a days? No. Just no. I feel like DEATH. I have no voice, my entire body is sore like someone beat the hell out of me, and I’m fairly certain I will never get enough sleep to make me feel like a real person again. Being grown blows.

In other news, Kim Kardashian’s getting divorced. If those two can’t make it work for 73 days, what hope do I have!? True love is obviously dead.

Also, I spent a large portion of my morning learning on the interwebs that Wedding Dress by Matt Nathanson, which I truly planned to dance to at my wedding, is definitely about divorce. So….that’s a good sign for my future relationships.

And also, Spotify is awesome. Work is way more fun when people sing to me. For free. WORD.

Okay, I can’t write any more words because there’s no point to anything I’m writing. Happy Halloween. Bye.


Holy jobs, Batman.


So, fun fact-I will be unemployed as of next Friday. I’m currently alternating between FREAKING. OUT. about this. And feeling like everything really DOES happen for a reason so something good HAS to come out of this.

Here’s the thing. I’ve had a lot of jobs. Like, more jobs than any person really should in their entire lifetime. I am only 25. Okay, seriously, I don’t think you get it. Here’s a list:

EDIT: There used to be a list here then I realized for multiple reasons that was stupid. A. I’m trying to find a new job, maybe don’t list ALL of my previous employers on the internet. B. There are stalkers out there bro, and I’m not trying to get abducted outside my office.

TWENTY ONE! That’s even more than I thought it was!! Holy SHIZ. That is ridiculous.

 Granted, some of them were short-lived. VERY short-lived. For example, Chili’s. I decided I should be a server and make some fat cash. Applied at the new Chili’s that had just opened. Showed up my first day as a server. Ever. First day being a server EVER in my life. Was told to make the tea. Okay. I’ve got this. It’s tea! Can’t be that hard! WRONG. I JACKED the tea up somehow and everyone was SO. MAD. All these people were just running around YELLING about the tea being bad, and asking WHO was responsible for this travesty!? Best believe I kept my mouth SHUT and hid until it was time to go home. And then I may or may not have never returned because I was so ashamed. About two years later my mom wanted to go there for dinner. Nope. Haven’t been back since.

I’ve gotten off track. ANYWAY, I’m about to be unemployed again. I don’t want to keep working random jobs. I’m SO over it. I want to start a career. Something I love doing, that I’m passionate about. Something that I can see myself doing in the long run. So, I’m now accepting applications for a sugar daddy. HA! Kidding. Kind of. No, really, kidding.

This time I’m going to do it right. I’m taking my time and looking for a job that I’ll love. That can maybe last for more than 2 years? That would be ideal.  I’ve really liked my time working in a non-profit so I’m starting there. I found a position with a publishing company and I think I would really like that. I’m not just going to apply for every job opening I see just to get myself a job. Been there, done that. And it has resulted in TWENTY ONE jobs. BAH!

So wish me luck. If you know of any openings in the St. Louis area you think would work for me, holler. And send all sugar daddy applications to my email directly.

Did ANYONE watch What About Brian in 2005??

Guys. I have to tell you about something. Yesterday I spent my day on my couch whining to my mom about how much I was sneezing, drank an entire carton of orange juice, and ate a pretty good portion of a family size box of Cap’n Crunch. But none of that matters. The most important thing I did yesterday, that I HAVE to tell you about, was watch this:

What About Brian

You. Guys. This show. First things first, Hulu, thanks a HEAP for suggesting I immerse myself in the wonderfulness of this program seeing as a. it’s from like 2005 and b. there were only 2 seasons. I am now obsessed, and when I finish the second half of season 2 today, it’s over. Gone forever. For someone like me who has fairly severe separation anxiety, this is going to cause a problem in my life.

Let me break down the awesomeness of this show for you. Most importantly, Brian, who is kind of me in male form, is played by Barry Watson. That’s Matt Camden from 7th Heaven, ya’ll!! Brian is the only single one in this whole little misfit group of couples, because he has commitment phobia. Or so they’d have you think! REALLY he’s in love with Marjorie, who is engaged to his BFFL Adam. Dramatics ensue for sure around that plot. Then, in season 2 (I’m not worried about giving this away because this show is over and let’s be honest, none of you are gonna pull a me and devote a Saturday and half a Sunday to watching this.) Marjorie is just gone. And it kind of makes the show a little boring and I kind of feel like the stories are just drifting around aimlessly, and that could have something to do with why it got cancelled. But to make up for Marjorie’s absence, they did bring in a funny black character in an attempt to make things more entertaining. I really liked Jimmy, obviously no one else liked him enough. Also, the second Victoria from the Twilight series plays a stripper in the second season and dates Adam as a strippertastic replacement Marjorie.
Okay, so there’s Matt Camden. Then there’s this funny Italian guy….also missing in season 2. First he’s off shooting a movie in Italy, then right before I had to turn this off to watch the Cardinals last night, they killed him off. AND his wife, Matt Camden’s sister, was 8 months knocked up. How terrible is that!? As I’m writing this I’m understanding why they didn’t get a season 3, they kind of got rid of everything good in season 2. Then there’s this couple that’s been together for about eternity and have these cute lil chillruns that when the show starts you’re like aw, cute. Then the chick decides they should have an open marriage because she wants to get it in with her yoga instructor, aw, whore. Then she sleeps with the playground dad instead and the husband dude is like crushed. So he sleeps with the nerdy video game chick who then ruins his career and his marriage…keep it in your pants, even if you’ve got the sads. Then the open marriage couple decides to get a divorce. I die.
I just read all that. This show sounds DUMB. No wonder it didn’t last. But you guys, seriously, it’s so good. I love it.  What About Brian for LIFE. But not really, because it was cancelled like 5 years ago and no one even misses it. Let’s be real, I didn’t even know it existed. Ugh, I just love Barry Watson. Do you remember when he had cancer!? I’m so glad he beat it and got to star in his own show for a hot minute. 
So anyway, I just had to tell you guys about this show I’m currently obsessed with. I’m going to go finish season 2 now, so maybe I can be productive today. I think my cold’s almost gone. And the Cardinals DOMINATED last night. Life is good.
Dream. Boat.

Being sick is stupid and awesome all at once.

I love October. So much. It is hands down my most favorite month of all the months and I will openly tell that to every other month of the year. It’s the best month.

But here’s the thing. I get sickly EVERY October. Changing seasons and I do not get along so well. In fact, I’m just going to put it out there that we straight up hate each other. This morning I woke up with what I thought was the Wine Flu .

i.e. Concerned/Judgey Coworker: “Oh, are you hungover?”

Hungover You: “NO. I have the Wine Flu.”

Bahahahaha. This was funnier like, 3 years ago when everyone and their pet lizard was concerned about swine flu. But I still find it funny today. You should too and we can be friends forever.

Anyway, I thought I was just a hungover mess today after downing a liter of red wine while watching the Cardinals game last night, which we’re not discussing because it makes me upset and yelly and gives my dog friend the shakes because she’s not a fan of all the yelling. But as the day progressed I started to figure out that this was not a case of Wine Flu, but legit cold/flu-like symptoms that were presenting themselves.

We couldn't find the wine opener last night. This sent us into crisis mode. And she's going to beat me with a toaster for putting this picture on the interwebs.

Being sick is equally parts a pain in my ass and awesomeness all at the same time. Yeah, I feel like butt and that sucks. I also have an excuse to lay on my couch without moving for the entire weekend, hop myself up on cold medicine, watch trashy television, sleep for like 14 hours a night,  and drink orange juice like it’s my job without any negative judgement for any of it. That is the bomb.  So, that’s pretty much how I’m going to be spending my weekend.  Please don’t be jealous of the ridiculous amount of excitement and coolness that I’m giving off. You can be as cool as me if you try. I mean, you’re going to have to put in a legit effort, but I really think you can do it.

Also, don’t think I’m a bad pet owner because I gave my dog the shakies with my yelling. Just look at how hard she has it currently.

Now I’m off to snuggle with that baby angel and hopefully knock this stupid cold. Have a good weekend friends!

Here We Go…

Alright kids. Here I am. Let me give you a real quick rundown of my life. It’s a hot mess…it’s always a hot mess. For the past few months I had mostly pulled it together, but it looks like in about a month it’s all going to go downhill again. This time I’m at least trying to plan and prepare for the hot mess-ness of it all. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, because I like to think of myself as a very thoughtful and philosophical person. It’s not true at all, but it’s how I like to think of myself.

So, I was doing all this soul-searching and trying to figure out what I want to do with my life, and what kind of person I want to be and all that jazz. My favorite things in life are reading blogs.  And hanging out with my dog. And writing. And creeping more blogs. And pointing out people’s mistakes. And drinking wine. And drinking wine while hanging out with my dog and reading blogs and pointing out people’s mistakes.

And that brings us to where we are now. All I do is sit around and read these blogs and think about how great these people have it while doing NOTHING and sulking in my nothingness. So today I said screw it and decided to actually DO something about it. It’s looking like I’m going to be unemployed sometime next month. Which means I’ll be back out there in this crappy economy looking for yet ANOTHER job. Instead of whining about it, I’ve decided to be proactive for once in my life. I’m going to use the free time I have to start this little adventure and see what comes of it. I’m only going to apply for jobs that I actually WANT and would ENJOY. I’m hoping this will keep me from hating whatever job I wind up with and being back to job searching again in 6 months because I’m doing some crappy job I hate and get completely burnt out. I submitted my résumé today with a publishing company in St. Louis and I think that would be something I’d really enjoy and be good at. I’m also keeping my eye out for other non-profit jobs, because I really have enjoyed my time working for a non-profit and think that may still be where I’m supposed to be in life.

I creep blogs like it’s my calling in life. Currently I’m on a healthy living kick which is making me want to be a healthier person. Until I want an unGodly amount of Pizza Hut, then I say screw all that nonsense.  I don’t think I’m ever going to be a healthy living blogger. Don’t get it twisted. But I am inspired by all those ladies to try to live a healthier life. I’m training for a 5k that I’m running (Running/walking? We’ll see…) in North Carolina on Thanksgiving morning.  So you’re probably going to be hearing a lot about that.

I’m also trying to eat healthier. Both to BE healthier as well as to lose weight. I’m hoping to make this a permanent lifestyle kind of thang and not refer to it as a diet. Sometimes I call it a livet. You can call it whatever you want. Just don’t get too close to me with Taco Bell or I might eat your hand while I snatch it from you and shove it in mah face. Be ready to hear about those types of shenanigans as well.

Oh, yeah, I also like wine. A LOT. I am forever on the hunt for the perfect cheap bottle of wine. I am in no way a wino who knows anything about wine or has any class when it comes to what I drink. Typically, it’s whatever is on sale with the highest alcohol content. If you see the $5 bottle of wine called Witches Brew in your festive fall section at WalMart-BUY. IT. It’s so good. My current fave. I’m going to drink a bottle glass tonight. So you’ll be hearing about cheap wine and the hot messes that occur when I drink it on the regular.

And I think that basically sums up what will happen here. I plan to stop by and fill you in on my life often. I’d like to say daily, but I’m not going to say daily. I don’t want to lie to you guys, you seem nice. You should also probably know at this point that I’m completely commitment phobic and NEVER follow through on anything. So let’s see how long I can actually keep this up! Maybe this will be the first thing I commit to and will end my lifelong struggle and then I’ll fall in love and get married and keep a job for more than 2 years and I’ll have you guys and this cute little blog to thank for it. Maybe…