I’m a domestic goddess.

Hey friends. Does anyone have an independently wealthy man friend they’d like to send my way to support me for the rest of my days?? I mean, I don’t know why they have to be independently wealthy…they can be hard-working. As long as the dollars are rollin’ in, know what I mean?

Today I discovered I would be an AWESOME house wife. Last week was my first week of being unemployed and I basically just pouted and moped around and stuff. I quickly realized I was going to be just a hot mess if I kept that shit up. So this week we’re getting serious. Game face.

 Today I got up bright and early, popped in a load of laundry, worked out, made a delicious breakfast, cleaned the house, sent out a bunch of resumes, went to the grocery store, sent out more resumes, made dinner, cleaned up the kitchen AGAIN, and now I’m blogging. Boom. I’m awesome at life. If I could just find someone to finance this way of life, I’d be set. I used to believe I wouldn’t be able to not work because I would get bored out of my mind-not so, my friends. Let me tell you why.

If there is money rollin’ in from another source, I won’t get bored. I can go shopping with said money. I can use my personal Big Poppa’s dollars to join a gym and work on my fitness to ensure my hot trophy wife status. I can go on lunch dates with my fellow rich bitch friends. (I’m assuming that those just come with my new wealthy man friend. Is this not how it works?) I already volunteer, but without having to spend my days sending out those pesky resumes and going on job interviews and stuff I could volunteer even MORE. The world would be a better place. You’re welcome world. I’m just lookin’ out.

So, moral of this story, I need everyone to be on the look out for high rollers with empty ring fingers and send them all my direction. It’s not just for me, guys, it’s for the WORLD.


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