I think New Year’s Eve is worthless.

I DESPISE New Year’s Eve. I think it is the most overrated ridiculous holiday of them all. People get all freaked out about what to do because it’s the LAST NIGHT of the WHOLE year. Who cares!? It doesn’t matter. Tomorrow is going to be just another Sunday and Monday is surely going to come after that. JUST LIKE EVERY SATURDAY OF THE WHOLE YEAR. Today is not special.

And everyone is always a GD disaster and no one can get it together enough to come up with one legitimate plan and everyone always ends up doing 389 different things and it stresses me out. And then, no matter what you end up doing, it’s a let down in some way because you had these stupid over the top expectations for the evening. NO.

So while getting super stressed out yesterday talking to my friends who are all doing something different and not being able to decided WTF to do with myself, I decided I was going to do NOTHING. I was going to sit at home in my pajamas with my dog and a big ass bottle of wine and go to bed early and not deal with it. Then I started to feel like a big loser. Who doesn’t do ANYTHING on NYE!? But I was going to stick with it. I’d made my decision. I was happily going to end 2011 in the peace and quiet of my own home all by myself. Yay!

Well then my stupid best friend, who I have not seen in a month, text me today with all this excitement over getting to see me tonight. F. So that made me feel like an asshole and I am now once again contemplating getting myself together to go out tonight. And I am UN.A.MUSED.

I hate this stupid day. I do hope you all have fabulous New Year’s though. Whether you’re going out and getting stupid drunk for a stupid amount of money that is completely unnecessary to spend because this is JUST ANOTHER SATURDAY. Or if you’re staying in I hope it’s glorious and low-key and no one gives you any shit about it.

Either way have a glorious 2012 pals!!


Holy Holiday Hangover

Disclaimer: I KNOW I promised more photos, but I’m an idiot and didn’t charge my camera battery correctly. It’s REALLY charged now, so there really will be pictures in the future. I PROMISE.

I know I’m way late with this post, but I didn’t get back from NC until Wednesday night. So while most people realized their holiday celebrations made them feel like death on Monday or Tuesday, I was still up to my elbows in Christmas goodies lovin’ life until Wednesday. Yesterday hit and I. Felt. TERRIBLE.

I ate not one thing that was good for me the entire week. Any vegetable I ate was covered in cheese or sour cream or french fried onions. I did no type of physical activity in any way, except walking from the couch to the kitchen to get more fatty food and then planting myself back on the couch. And I’m fairly certain I did not drink one single day’s worth of water in the week I was there. Like, over the course of an ENTIRE week, I did not drink 8 glasses of water. That’s insane! Yesterday I felt stupid fat, crazy bloated, and was SEVERELY dehydrated.

So yesterday morning I woke up feeling like I had been hit by a truck and decided I needed to attempt to undo the damage of the past week. I ate a multi grain (Grains! I forgot they existed!) english muffin with some peanut butter and started chugging water like it was my job. I headed to the grocery store and loaded up on some health conscious foods to make me feel like a real life human being again. I took my baby angel dog friend for a walk in this lovely spring weather we have here in Illinois. Seriously, global warming, WTF!?

Amazingly enough I’m already feeling like more of a human. I’m really trying to make this stuff like eating whole grains and vegetables and drinking my water and walking my dog and doing other types of activities more of my norm so I can feel like a real human all the time. I’m grown now so it’s probably time for me to turn this kind of stuff into habits and be a healthy grown up person. I’m pretty pumped to start my job next week and get into a routine that includes healthy eating and hopefully figuring out a way to exercise on the daily too. I’m not making you guys any promises, and I’m not making this shit a New Years Resolution or anything, because let’s be honest, those are long forgotten about by about January 9th. I’m just going to try. That’s all I can do, right? Right.

Adios amigos. I’m off to finalize my NYE plans. I HATE NYE. Worst, most overrated holiday of them all.


Ick. I just looked at yesterday’s post. TOO much words. Blah blah blah blah blah. No one wants to look at that many words.

From here on out less wordiness and more pictures. I don’t like reading blogs with this lack of pictures, I don’t know why you would. I’m currently charging my camera battery and will be an obnoxious blog chick taking pictures of everrrrrything to put it on my blog from here on out. Get ready real life friends.

I just wanted to let you guys know I noticed this problem and will be correcting it.

That is all.

Oh, also, I have to drive home tomorrow and I am NOT amused. EW.

A day late, but you’ll forgive me.


I hope everyone had a fabulous day full of really delicious food that was really bad for you, family & friends, and a crapload of happy fuzzy warm loveyness. And that Santa was good to you, of course.

We got to my Mom’s house Thursday evening. Let me just tell you guys, riding in a Chevrolet Cavalier with Truman, Sophia, enough oxygen tanks to keep a small country going for a month, and half of the possessions we own in life for 10 hours is QUITE a treat. Add in a torrential downpour for 75% of the drive and it is something I cannot even put into words. Needless to say, I have never been happier to exit a vehicle in all the days of my life.


This face made up for it. That white blur in the back is Sophia. Obviously.

 Thursday evening my Momma made me one of my fave meals for dinner, and I basically just refused to move from the couch until dragging myself to my bed and sleeping for 11 hours. It. Was. Glorious.

Friday afternoon was a baking extravaganza-pumpkin & pecan pies, snickerdoodles, and my all time favorite-pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. The day of fatness was then rounded out by a trip to my favorite Italian restaurant for dinner. Can you tell when I come home I call the shots? We’re not even done discussing all of my favorites that have been consumed so far. I might be a bit spoiled. I’m an only child. What do you expect!? Also, visits revolving around food MAY play a large part in my chunkalicious body type. Just maybe…

So, anyway, Christmas Eve we had yet another bombass dinner of beef strogonaff, one of mi Madre’s specialties. It was DELICIOUS. We kept with our Christmas Eve traditions of watching It’s A Wonderful Life after dinner and getting to open ONE present, which of course is festive Christmas pajamas for everyone. I love George Bailey and I love Christmas pajamas. Win/win. 

Christmas morning came and I was very happy. I don’t really have that one thing I’m DYING for like I did when I was a child, which makes things a little less exciting. But I did pretty well. Some gift cards, some movies, a reading light for my Kindle. Pretty boring grown up gifts. I think I might start asking for American Girl dolls again just to make things more exciting. (You can tell a lot about a person by which American Girl doll they pined after in their youth. I was a Samantha. Obviously. Which American Girl were you??)

After presents comes waffles for breakfast. This has been happening for more years than I can count, since my Grandma received a waffle iron as a gift when I was still a tot. I love waffles, so of course I’m down with this tradition. Christmas dinner was AMAZEBALLLLLLS this year. By far one of my faves. We traditionally go with turkey for Thanksgiving, ham for Christmas and this year was no exception. I find that people have a pretty serious stance on turkey vs. ham for holiday celebrations. I’m gonna be straight with you guys, I’m all about ham. Turkey’s alright I guess. I’m a BIG fan of all the food that goes along with the turkey at Thanksgiving. Stuffing!? Helllllls yes. Turkey? Eh.  Ham? GIMME. So, yeah, just thought you guys should know my stance on that. Christmas=Ham=Happiness.

We also have this weird tradition, I’m not entirely sure where it came from, of going to the movies on Christmas. Maybe because I love the Jews so much we decided to celebrate the holiday like the Jewish folk do? Seriously, no idea. But we go. This year we saw We Bought a Zoo. I thought it sounded STUPID. But Matt Damon was in it, and I love me some Damon. The movie was legit, I’ll admit it. ScarJo makes me want to punch a kitten in the face a little, but overall a nice story.

And that catches you folks up on my life. Today has been pure laziness, leftovers, and sweatpants. Currently my Maja is fixing my all time favorite dinner, chicken enchiladas with white sauce and homemade guacamole. NOM. How am I not morbidly obese yet? No idea. When I leave here Wednesday I’m not eating for a month. I may actually  have to be rolled home, I don’t know if I’ll fit in a Cavalier….

Merry Christmas friends!


Christmas miracles!!! And stuff.

Holla! I have so much to tell you guys.

In typical Truman fashion, my Grandpa decided Monday, out of the blue, that he in fact WOULD like to travel to North Carolina for Christmas this year. I have been preaching for months now about how we should do WHATEVER TDog wants for Christmas, because who knows how many more we’re going to get to have him around for. Seriously, PREACHING this shit. It was obnoxious. So, I have spent the last few days getting everything figured out for us to head out there. Tomorrow morning we are heading South for the holiday. That’s right…I will be spending 10 LONG hours in a Cavalier with Truman tomorrow. Prayers for everyone to arrive safe and sane are appreciated.

And in OTHER news, I got a job offer today!!! It’s a Christmas miracle!!! I’m going to make trains! Okay, fine, I’m going to be an admin assistant. But it’s AT A PLACE WHERE THEY MAKE TRAINS!! I’m so f’ing happy it’s dumb. Being unemployed sucks dick.

Here’s the deal guys, 2011 has been QUITE a year for me. Parts really good and parts REALLY bad. I moved back to Illinois from North Carolina, worked a crappy job with a crappy commute that I hated, my car was a broken piece for a hot minute, I got a job that I honestly liked, dealt with Pastor Man dramatics, fell even more in love with my bombass friends (which I didn’t even think was possible), took care of Truman, lost my job, dealt with family dramatics, and here we are.

Honestly I feel like things are coming together. Although we still have our issues, I’m stoked I’m going to be spending Christmas in NC with my family the way it’s supposed to be instead of here alone with TDog trying to make things festive and having his Grumpasaurus self bringing me down all day and focusing all my energy on not having a festive Christmas nervous breakdown. I get to go to NC for a week without the pressure of trying to find a job while I’m there. I get a full week to spend with Rico Suave (my mom’s dog. He. Is. AMAZING.), relax, eat enough food to last me all of next year, and just chill. I don’t have to spend Christmas away from my momma for the first time ever. I like this.

Then I get to come home and spend New Years Eve with my friends. Not all of them, it makes me sad that we’re getting older and can’t all spend NYE together anymore, but I’ll get to celebrate with at least some of my favorite people, which is good enough for me. Then I start 2012 with a brand new job. Basically, life is good.

Christmas miracles all around!! I’ll let you kids know if we all arrive in Asheville alive tomorrow. Seriously, I’m not even joking, pray for me. Truman and I almost kill each other if we spend too much time in this large house with separate rooms together. An entire day smushed in a car together could end TERRIBLY. Lord, hear our prayer.


Happy Hanukkah to you, friends!!

Fun fact about me for those of you who aren’t aware-I. LOVE. HANUKKAH. Now, you may say to yourself, “I didn’t even realize she was Jewish! She’s talked about her Native American background, but never of her Jewish faith. Mazel to her!”

No. I’m not Jewish in any way. I’m Cherokee and Irish and I was raised a Lutheran. But I LOVE the Jewish folk.

I’ve been overly interested in the Holocaust since, like, third grade. I insisted on doing all my social studies projects about it throughout grade school. It’s a creepy weird obsession. If you want to become one of my favorite people, take me to the Holocaust museum. I’ve never been and I desperately want to go. (I’m f’ing WEIRD you guys. You should know this by now.)

I will openly admit my true interest in the Jewish folk of our time came from a little family who lived in the OC named the Cohens. Seth Cohen!? Swoooooooon. From my friend Seth, I adopted my favorite holiday of the year-Chrismukkah! I have Chrismukkah celebrations where I invite my friends over to help me put up my Christmas tree with ornaments in the traditional Hanukkah colors of silver and blue. We make Chrismukkah cookies. Hang stockings and put up menorah decorations. It truly is the most wonderful time of the year.

And yes, I will tell you guys that I’m not mad at the fact my Grandpa has chosen to have all of his doctors conveniently located at Barnes JEWISH Hospital in St. Louis. I will also not deny that when accompanying him on doctor visits I spend a little extra time putting myself together just in case I run into that special Jewish doctor and we fall in love and get married and live happily ever after celebrating Chrismukkah for years to come. WHAT!? You’d do it too.

So anyway, I just wanted to stop by and wish you all a happy, happy, happy, happy Hanukkah!!! Mazel to you and yours!

Completely random stuff I just feel like you guys should know about.

Dude. Christmas is less than a week away. How did THAT happen!?

Watch this. I LOL every time.


Do y’all read Suri’s Burn Book!? (www.surisburnbook.tumblr.com) I was incredibly bored Saturday, but not bored enough to actually use my time in any type of productive manner. (QUIT with the side eye. Don’t act like you have not had that kind of day before. You’re a liar.) So I read the ENTIRE thing. Just sat on my couch and read like 30 pages of Suri’s burn book. I love that little diva so much.

Yesterday was my best friend Katie G’s birthday. I got her a unicycle. You should all be jealous.

Yup. That's a unicycle.

It’s a good thing I got her a bombass birthday present because when we got back to her apartment Saturday night I may or may not have started a ruckus when I informed a homie that he needed to move his ass off the big couch because her apartment is basically my second home and that couch is basically my bed. He did NOT like that. I want to say I felt bad, but I didn’t. I was ready for bed and he was in my way. I meant it. I did NOT think it would be that big of a deal though. And for his overreaction, I am sorry. Everyone should just take note to never be in my sleeping area when I’m ready for sleeping. Life will be better for us all.

Ha. This was my favorite part of the scene that this dude caused though-We had stopped and gotten Jimmy John’s for everyone on the way home from the bar and said homie nommed his Turkey Tom down like it was no joke. After I ruined his day by making him remove himself from my couch he went on this rant about how he doesn’t even LIKE turkey, he just likes roast beef. To that my friend Fann who paid for the sandwiches said he should have bought his own roast beef sandwich if he was so upset about the ENTIRE TURKEY SANDWICH he had just devoured. He got real big and bad and said that he would pay her back THREE TIMES what that turkey sandwich cost. I informed him it was $5. He threw $4 at her and stormed out. I laugh every time I think about this.  It’s so ridiculous. Haha…I’m lol’ing right now. $4!!

That’s all I’ve got. After that $4 thing I just can’t even with you guys anymore. Falalala. Merry Christmas. Bye.

Christmas makes people assholes.

Heeeeey-o! You guys really know how to welcome me back with open arms. Yesterday I had the most views of my little blogging life. Glad to see you’re not holding a grudge over my December slacking. Thanks pals!

So today I had to trek out to the other side of St. Louis to pick up my best friend’s birthday present-WAIT until I can tell you all what it is after I give it to her tomorrow. It. Is. Fantastic. HA!

Anyway, after I picked that up I started on my Christmas shopping. That’s correct…STARTED. I’ll probably finish up on or around Christmas Eve. That’s just how I roll. So, what I learned today is people are ASSHOLES during the holidays. There is no Christmas spirit. No ’tis the season. People are basically evil.

My car almost got hit at least 17 times because people either a. don’t know how to drive or b. NEED that parking spot 23 steps closer to the door and will take you the f out to get it. Hold the door for people? They don’t give no fucks. Say excuse me if someone is in your way? Shit, you’re bothersome. Shut the hole in your face and leave them ALONE. It was pure evil chaos. And people apparently just don’t give a SHIT how badly their children behave in public during Christmas season. Children were running AMUCK through the aisles of Target. Moral of this story: Christmas shopping is not a jolly time.

So true.

In completely unrelated news, I’m making my first Pinterest recipe for dinner tonight. That’s right, I conquered Pinterest. I’m totally into it now.  Follower success. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Have a fab weekend friends!

DON’T worry, I’m still alive!

Oh, hiiiiiiii.

So, let’s just talk about it and get it out in the open so we can move on. December has been a suck ass month for me and this blog. Today is the 15th and this is my second post. That’s a shame. Here’s the deal guys. I’m unemployed. I’m broke because I’m unemployed. I’m in the midst of a mild mental breakdown because I’m unemployed, I’m broke, I’m going to die alone, I’m spending the holidays away from my mommy for the first time, the list goes on and on and on. And no one wants to read some Debbie Downer blog that’s all woe is me, life sucks, I’m the saddest girl in the world blah blah blahdity blahdity blah blah. I sure as hell don’t. I’m well aware that people in the world have it A LOT worse than I can ever even IMAGINE and when I read blogs from peeps like me who have food to eat everyday, a warm house to live in, and a place to sleep every night crying about how sucky their lives are I get pretty lit up. I have saved you all from that torture. You are welcome.

But now it’s time to suck it the fuck up, put on my big girl panties, and move on. I’m sure I can figure out SOMETHING to write about on a more regular basis for your entertainment and my sanity. Let’s run through a quick recap of what’s been going on since the last time we talked TEN days ago. Shit. That’s too long. I’ve missed you. And I’m sure you’ve missed me.

Last time we talked, Christmas tree went up. It is glorious and still gives me the warm fuzzies. Especially when Sophia naps under it. Too cute.

Went out with all my married/engaged friends one night. Literally, I’m the only lonely girl. Que Justin Bieber to sing about my life.  They’re all real great pals and turned their huge rocks around to appear available for when dudes wanted to hit on me. Don’t worry. They didn’t.


This is my life.
Once we realized no dudes were knocking people out of their way to get to me, we began entertaining ourselves with a small photo shoot. This is my “sexy.” Yeah…..
That's as good as it gets.

 I’ve worked a few temp jobs here and there. Taken more trips to Walmart with TDog than I can count. He always needs SOMETHING and for some reason just cannot even FATHOM going to Walmart alone. What’d you do before I lived here bro!?

One of my faves who stupidly lives in stupid Arizona being a stupid park ranger is home for the holidays and I’m stupid happy about it.

THIS happy.

 Addy being home means we will all be a drunken mess. His parents house includes this bombass family room that I basically consider my second home. I’ve spent a dumb amount of time there drinking like it’s my job. Also, he has the best. dog. ever. Francesca (Yeah, her name’s Francesca. How is she NOT awesome!?) is my faaaaavorite. She’s gained a lot of weight since the last time I’ve seen her which only makes me love her more. More to love. Obviously.

 ANYWAY. Addy’s home. We got drunk.
SHOTS. Really LARGE shots.

 And then I spent the entire next day refusing to get off my couch and crying to my dog about how I was never. drinking. again. Ha. Jokes!

After recovering from my hangover I had a lovely little dinner and movie night with two of my favorite people. (Completely unrelated news-Friends With Benefits is seriously my favorite movie from 2011. If you have not watched it yet DO. IT. You will not regret it.)

Went to f’ing WALMART with TDog Monday.

Worked a temp job the last two days.  Where this woman who is either just super nice or SUPER scary immediately fell in love with me because I remind her of her son’s girlfriend and insisted on taking me to lunch yesterday. It was nice. But also weird. But nice. Obviously I didn’t know how to feel. Whatever. I got a free lunch out of the deal.

And that brings us up to present day and catches you guys up on the gloriousness that is my life. Whoooooooo.

Don’t freak out because this is over and you think it will be weeks before I come back again. I’ll be back soon. Promise.