I’m making another stupid life choice.


I’m not going to drink for the next month until my birthday.

(My birthday is one month from tomorrow, FYI. Plan accordingly.)

God help us all.



I’m making you accountable for holding me accountable for my actions.

Today was a CLUSTER. Work is a hot mess. Like, I’m so busy that I find myself forgetting to drink aqua and take 2.5 seconds to go to the bathroom. It’s a disaster. So instead of dealing with it like a normal human being I get STRESSED which then results in me eating a holy mother of Mexican for lunch, downing Coke like that’s my job, and immediately pouring a glass of vino when I get home. THIS. IS. NOT. OKAY.

So, tomorrow I’m getting my shit together. I’m getting up and running before work so that those happy endorphins can carry me through my day. I have everything I’m going to eat planned that will result in me staying within my calories, fat, and carbs for the day with a bonus of me also getting as much protein as I’m supposed to eat. (Is it stupid hard for anyone else to eat enough protein everyday?? No? Just me? Cool.) So anyway. I’m just telling you guys because it makes me feel like I have to do it. And also I have to do it because my roommate doesn’t believe I will and I get no greater satisfaction in life than I do from proving people wrong.

I have to go watch New Girl now and then I have to immediately go to sleep so I can be well rested and get up bright and early to begin my day of AWESOME. K. Bye.


Yeah, it’s been almost a month. I don’t want to hear it. Just enjoy my presence!

Remember when I blogged? So do I. Vaguely. Verrrrry vaguely.

Alright, it’s been a hot minute since I’ve been here so let me just give you a quick rundown on my life, then we can all move on like my month-long hiatus never happened, cool? Great.

  • I moved. It’s been fantastic. Kayla and I are bombass roommates, always have been. It’s AMAZING to live in a clean, smoke free environment where you’re not constantly concerned about smoking+oxygen tanks resulting in your dog, grandfather, home, and earthly belongings being blown up. Seriously. Amazing. Clearly Sophia is having a really tough time with the move. Her life is incredibly hard.


  • I’m putting a pretty legitimate effort into being a physically fit human being. I’ve started doing Couch to 5k…again. Last week I worked out every day but Friday, and that was because I was resting for a 5 mile St. Patty’s Day run on Saturday. (Okay, I walked it. But still. I got up and walked 5 miles Saturday morning and that is impressive. Shut it.) So yeah. I’m really planning to actually COMPLETE Couch to 5k this go around. That will be a first. And my goal is to actually RUN the St. Patty’s Day run next year. I’ll let you know how that goes.
  • I’m also attempting to put some effort into my appearance. (Fun fact-It just took me 8 attempts to type the word appearance correctly. I SWEAR to you I’m becoming more stupid on a daily basis. It started around the middle of last week that I noticed my loss of brain cells and it’s just been downhill ever since. I’m seriously concerned about my intelligence or lack thereof.) Anyway, last Friday after work I went to dinner with the roomie and came home and happened to glance in the mirror at myself and I was HORRIFIED. I was the straight up definition of homely. My clothes were frumpy as hell and ill-fitting. I had on ZERO makeup and honestly could not have even told you the last time I had put any on. I also could not have told you the last time I took the time to blow dry my hair. I was in quite the routine of letting it air dry over night and putting it on top my head. This is not attractive. So last week I made an effort to get up and put on a legitimate outfit and wear make up to work everyday. I manned up and faced my phobia of eyes to go to the eye doctor on Friday to get new contacts. I got my pasty ass a spray tan. I went shopping this weekend for the first time in I seriously can not tell you how long and got some nice wardrobe updates. I feel operation “No One Likes a Homely Broad” is going well. I’ll be sure to keep you informed on the progress.
  • I’m old. I’m so old I couldn’t even stay downtown after the run yesterday to day drink and act like an idiot. I was tired and EVERYONE annoyed me. I happily came home, watched some Bravo, and went to the mall. I’m not even mad at it. Just old.

And that’s my life. Aren’t you glad I came back to share it with you?? Wasn’t that so exciting that you don’t even know what to do with yourself?? I know. You’re welcome. See ya soon. Promise.