15 Thing Friday (I’m not even original.)

I’m totally stealing this idea from my fave blog lady over at Running off the Reese’s. This is not an original idea that came from my head in any way, so don’t think it is. Thanks a heap for understanding.

1. I decided going into this week I was going to try to blog every day. I never put this into writing so that if I failed there was no proof this was my plan.

2. I did not fail.

3. This week seriously felt like it went on FOR-EV-ER. I have no clue how it lasted so long. I could NOT be happier it is Friday.

4. Sometimes my job is the bomb.com. We get off at noon today, I have no dress code and am 100% wearing yoga pants, and they gave me bagels for breakfast. Nothing about this is not awesome.

5. I forgot to tell you guys last Sunday my baby angel dog friend won a competition at the dog party and got PRIZES. This makes me far more proud than it should.

6. IT’S PAYDAY! Thank the good Lord in heaven because I’m broke as a joke. Paydays are the best days.

7. I wish I was British a lot. Accents are so f’ing awesome.

8. My mom is currently on vacay at Yellowstone. I cannot remember this and keep asking her how things are going at the Grand Canyon. I think she’s going to shank me soon.

9. I worked out every day this week. I recognize this doesn’t SOUND like a big deal, but you guys, this is a BIG deal. Even yesterday when I was the sleepiest girl in the world, I sucked it up and 30 Day Shredded. Typically I would lay in my bed and eat Taco Bell. I’m getting better at life friends.

10. I have a freakish obsession with Eric from True Blood. This is NOT an invitation to talk to me about the current season of True Blood. I am halfway through season 4 because we are poor and do not have HBO, so Netflix has to send me all the DVDs one by one and I am an entire season behind. IF YOU RUIN ANYTHING I WILL SHANK YOU. Anyway, I wanna do bad things with Eric.

11. Continuing our Netflix discussion, does anyone have suggestions on a new program I should start watching that I can stream on Netflix? I have some pretty big plans to spend this rainy long weekend on my couch and would enjoy a new TV show to occupy my time.

12. Coming up with 15 things is much more difficult than I anticipated it to be. Mad props to the people who do this regularly and have for a hot minute now. I’m impressed.

13. I don’t know how to feel right now, I had a freaking awesome summer and part of me is super sad it’s almost over. The other part of me is so ready for fall. I love fall so much. Boots, scarves, pumpkin, pumpkin flavored items, crunchy leaves, hoodies, the fun is just never-ending. Point is, I have too many feelings about the seasons. That is all.

14. I have approximately 39 mosquito bites currently and I am NOT amused by it. I’m itchy.

15. I’M SO GOOD AT BLOGGING! I’ve learned about fancy things like writing posts ahead of time and scheduling them for later. I actually wrote this last night, made you THINK I wrote it this morning, and just scheduled it to post today. HA! I’m such a trickster.


I talk about beets a STUPID amount in this post.

Dudes, I have got the SLEEPYS today. I seriously have no idea how it’s not Friday yet. WOOF.

Today shall be short and sweet.

I ran yesterday after work. I ate my healthy dinner. I drank FAR more than anticipated and ended up over my calories for the day by about 250. Not terrible, not terrible in any way. It most definitely could have been worse.

Here’s the deal ya’ll, the drink special was $2 beers (Just typed beets on accident and legit lol’ed. Can you imagine going to a bar and getting pumped over $2 beets? HA!) and $2 well drinks. It’s clearly just more bang for your buck to get a vodka drink over a beer (beet AGAIN. HA!) for the same price. More alcohol content per dollar. Duh. And I’m all about spending my dolla dolla bills wisely.

Also, I feel like now is a good time to tell you guys that we are AWFUL at sand volleyball. Like, completely and utterly hopeless. We got last place in our league over the summer. LAST. PLACE. That’s almost impressive. But we are the most fun team EVER. The refs love us. The DJs loves us. We are complete and total idiots and we have a fucking blast every week. Now here’s the thing….some teams who play us enjoy our humor and laugh with us. Some teams do NOT. They are there to play some f’ing volleyball and do not have time for our shenanigans. The team we played last night fell into the latter category. And we were in rare form last night. We were the definition of a shit show. While we were acting like complete and total idiots and they were using defensive specialists and coming up with strategies, we only lost by a couple points each game. Idiot volleyball team win. Serious volleyball team FAIL. People need to be more fun. I feel bad for people who aren’t having as good of time as I am.

I’m out. I’m going to sleep like I’m dead tonight and I’m AMPED.

Why don’t people talk about how awesome Amy Poehler is more?

Happy hump day ya’ll. This week is friggin’ CRAWWWWWLING by. It is finally halfway over and I am ecstatic.

Quick updates:

  • 30 Day Shred last night with the roomster. That bitch Jillian Michaels started skipping halfway through, which was the perfect opportunity to bow out, but instead I blew on that DVD Super Nintendo style and finished the workout. Got so sweaty it was disgusting. Jillian tells me sweat is fat crying. I believe her. Mostly because I’m scared of her.
  • Did not make my healthy lasagnas for dinner because I didn’t have eggs, but DID make Cajun chicken pasta which I healthified by using half the butter and removing the heavy cream and using nonfat milk instead. HEALTHY LIVING WIN!

In current news, my whole “I don’t drink during the week! I’m SO HEALTHY IT’S AWESOME!” BS is out the window. I play sand volleyball every Wednesday.  At a bar. Drinking is going to happen. This I accept. To even this out, I am eating superbly healthy and have already factored my beers into my calories for the day. Also, I’m running when I get home before eating my healthy dinner and beginning drinking to burn some extra cals. GOD, I’M AWESOME.

On Wednesdays, we drink beer.

Also, opted for 15 minutes of extra sleep instead of washing my hairs this morning. Teased the f out of it to disguise the dirt. Once again I want to reiterate how BOMBASS at life I am.

Now stop trying to make fetch happen. It’s not going to happen.


Gooooo tell it on the mooooountainnnn. (Sometimes weird things come out that make it clear I went to private church school for too much of my life. This title is one of those times.)

What is up you guys!? Just stopping by for the THIRD day in a row (not to toot my own horn or anything, but that’s pretty bombass of me) to say ‘ello and I hope you’re have a fantastical Tuesday.

I ran last night. It was hot as balls out, but it didn’t go as poorly as I expected it to and I felt pretty good about myself after I was done. So there’s that.

Ate a stupid, healthy, boring lunch again today. I recognize my tone may not make this come across as a victory, but it was. Healthy boring lunches are stupid and dull, but hopefully they make my pants fit better. Because if they don’t you better BELIEVE I’m back to eating buffalo chicken wraps and cheese for lunch everyday.

Tonight I’m making this delicious AND healthy lasagna for dinner and 30 Day Shredding while it bakes. Then I plan to plant my ass on the couch and watch Pretty Little Liars and the latest disc of True Blood that Netflix sent to me. Productivity+laziness=perfection.


I’m feeling pretty good about life kids. I’m totes becoming all kinds of healthy and active. I’m a little bit less of an alcoholic already. I feel like my life is in order. Basically, I just want you all to tell me how bomb I am. Annnnnnd go!

Also, tell me how pretty my sparkly nail polish is.

Then go and tell Eleanor that it’s fine I blog at work sometimes.

Day 1 of being AWESOME at life is in full swing.


A. Let’s talk about how I’m posting TWO DAYS IN A ROW. It’s a miracle from little teensy babay Jesus and you should all thank him.

B. My ass did NOT go out to lunch today, even though people were going somewhere with an AMAZEBALLS buffalo chicken wrap, which is basically my kryptonite. Instead I ate my healthy little weight watchers meal and yogurt and cried really sad fat girl tears all alone in the lunch room. Sacrifices.

C. Although the majority of my day is really letting my awesomeness shine, I’ll be honest and tell you I did not get up and run this morning as planned. I actually decided getting up at all was completely overrated and turned off all my alarms in my sleep. (I have 3 alarms because I’m the best sleeper in the WORLD.) Luckily I happened to wake up on my own with JUST enough time to shower and make myself look like a human and leave for work RIGHT on time. Then I sat in traffic for ONE HOUR AND SEVENTEEN MINUTES. Not fun. Not fun at all. But, back in the land of awesome, I AM running when I get home tonight. My clothes are all ready to go (conveniently waiting from when I was supposedly going to be wearing them at 6 am today) and I am going to immediately change and be out the door upon my arrival home from work. I know the deal. If I sit down, it’s all over.

That’s really all I’ve got for you. Other than the fact my phone erased ALL of my text messages from forever today, and I’m pretty heartbroken about it. There was a lot of good stuff in there and now it’s just gone. And the only texts I have currently are from Twitter (spam.) and my roommate talking about beer (obviously.). Makes me feel like a real big loser.

Heeeeey-o! I’m getting my life together! Oh, you feel like you’ve heard that before? SHUT IT.

Dudes. I completely understand why people just shut down blogs and start completely over with new ones. I’ve started about three posts in the last week, but didn’t want to deal with the obligatory sorry my blog sucks, I’ll do better, blah blah blah excuses at the beginning, so instead I just exited my little browser and went on pretending this blog didn’t exist. That sucks. So, I’m just not going to do that shit anymore. I’m going to come here, and start my posts with no apologies or excuses or any of that nonsense. Let’s all just accept that I blow at doing this on a regular basis, appreciate the times I do swing by here, and move on with life. Stop saying mean things about me.

Life has been a cluster fuck lately. I’ve been stupid busy with shit at work, I’ve been going out and drinking like a fish on the reg, and my life has just become a DISASTER. So this weekend I got myself back together. I’ve actually spent some time by myself for the first time in a minute and it was GLORIOUS. I have recently accepted that I absolutely need to spend some time alone or I start to lose it and hate EVERYONE. For the good of the world and those who have to interact with me, I finally had that time by myself to kind of regroup and I no longer feel so stabby. So this is a good thing. I’ve slept in the past two days, I got a massage, hung out with some pals I hadn’t seen in a hot minute, I went to church, I got my house clean and all my laundry done, and I went on a fun outing with my dog friend. All of this is resulting in me feeling like my life is back in order and I’m ready to get my shit back together this week, and ideally not want to shank everyone in my path.

I was also doing really well with the whole eating well, working out, not being a big fat fatty thing for a while. But, as with every other aspect of my life, that went down the drain recently. I am now back to feeling like a big disgusting beast and I’m over it. So I’ve got healthy meals planned out, I’m NOT drinking during the week anymore, I’m starting Couch to 5k (why yes, this IS the 7th time, thanks for asking), and I’ve got some plans to get up before work (EESHK!) to run before it gets f’ing GROSS hot outside. I’ll let you know how all these plans actually play out.

In closing, today is National Dog Day and my baby angel went to a dog party in Forest Park where she actually didn’t act like an asshole and make me embarrassed to be her human. This is quite the accomplishment and really makes me feel like my life is moving the right direction.


Have a good week friends!!

Who’s up for my monthly blog about how shitty my blog is!?

Who had completely forgotten about this blog, because I’m the worst blogger in all the land and haven’t been here in so long!? I did, I did! I really did fully forget I had this guy until today and I was all, “OH! I have a blog! I should go see how that’s doing!” And this is why I don’t have a child people. I would ABSOLUTELY forget about it for months at a time, then one day be like, “Shoot! That baby I own has been at the babysitter’s house for MONTHS. Better go check on that situation.” And then children and family services would be there, and then I would probably go to jail and stuff, and I just don’t have a personality that would do well in jail.

I digress. I have a blog! Welcome back! (I seriously have no doubt that NO ONE reads this anymore, but it’s depressing if I don’t talk to you guys like there’s still SOMEONE out there. So just go with it. Also, this chick I work with is out on maternity leave because she just had twins (BLECH.) and she brought them into the office a few weeks ago and I was all “BABIES! NO THANKS! EW!” and this girl I work with quickly informed me she had read my blog and knew I secretly liked babies. I was SHOCKED. Did not know she had found this little gem. But then again, she is an internet pirate, so why would I expect anything less? HI ELEANOR!)

Maybe this is why I don’t do this more often. It is HARD to stay focused and actually talk about something with a point. It would probably be easier if I did this on a regular basis, maybe I could work on that, eh? So, this was a start. I swung by, I let you all know that I’m alive, I’m fully aware that I am nowhere near responsible enough to have a child, I have coworkers who creep on me, and I have slight blogging ADD. So that’s that. I’m going to come back tomorrow ( I. AM!) and write a real life post. WAIT FOR IT.